Cinta.

Memikirkannya saja bisa membuat hati ini jadi tenang dan damai. 

Subhanallah.

Love the giver more than the gift and you will be gifted.

Ada yang bilang bahagia itu tidak perlu dicari. Ada yang bilang bahagia itu sederhana.

Lantas, apa itu bahagia?

Apakah ketika bisa melihat senyum yang mengembang di wajah kedua orang tua? Atau ketika diingatkan sholat oleh perempuan sholihah di koridor? Atau ketika berhasil menang bermain PES melawan Ketua BEM Fakultas?

Bahagia memang sederhana. Ia muncul dari kesederhanaan hati. Bahagia memang tidak perlu dicari. Ia akan muncul dari kesediaan hati yang mau bersyukur dalam keadaan apapun.

Kebahagiaan sejati tidak muncul karena banyak faktor lain. Bukan bahagia jika masih disebabkan oleh harta, kedudukan, dan sebagainya. Ketika mendapat hadiah, kita akan merasa bahagia. Jika momen tersebut berlalu, rasa bahagia pun berlalu.

Lantas, adakah bahagia yang abadi di dunia ini?

Tentu ada. Ialah kebahagiaan iman. Tidak hanya abadi, tetapi juga dijanjikan oleh Allah. Karena itulah jangan pernah lupa dalam hidup ini kita mencari ridho Allah. Agar bahagia yang abadi selalu menyertai kita.

Mari tentukan kebahagiaan kita sendiri. Kebahagian yang berakar pada gemerlap duniawi. Atau kebahagiaan yang dipanjatkan pada Allah.

Tidak hanya abadi, tetapi juga dijanjikan oleh Allah. Apalagi yang kurang jika Allah telah berjanji?

Itulah mengapa, jangan pernah lupa untuk bahagia. Terlebih itu semua, jangan lupa bersyukur.

Semoga bahagia kita masih pada Allah semata.

Mari berbahagia.

Selamat Tinggal Kenangan.

Bila orang tanya aku, “Apa perasaan bila ditakdirkan dicampak ke sini (Wang Ulu) semula?”, aku hanya mampu respon dengan sebuah senyuman. Kira-kira 3 tahun sudah berlalu, since aku menginap di sini. Meski cuma setahun, tapi tak aku nafikan, banyak kenangan tercipta di sini. Kenangan manis dan juga kenangan pahit. Kat sini lah air mata aku banyak tumpah. Kat sini lah berat badan aku turun mendadak. Kat sini lah titik-titik putus asa mula bercambah dalam hati. Kat sini lah aku kenal erti ‘sisterhood’. Kat sini lah aku berjuang melawan kecamuk perasaan. Dan kat sini lah aku bangkit kembali. 

Sebelum ni stay kat Kg Wai, then Bumita, tak pernah pulak kenangan-kenangan dulu menghantui hidup aku macam sekarang ni. Mungkin sebab setiap hari naik bus lalu jalan yang dulu waktu first year siap hafal. Kedai-kedai makan yang pernah kami singgah. Rindu pada housemate waktu first year dulu sampai terbayang-bayang bayangan Kak Diba pada housemate yang sekarang ni. Kerusi batu itu yang pernah jadi saksi air mata berdedai-dedai sambil buat sesi curhat bersama Kak Diba. Hahah. Such a memories. 

Sebulan sudah bersendirian menginap di Wang Ulu, aku dah decide satu keputusan. Aku tak mahu hidup dalam kenangan lagi. Aku nak berjalan maju dan laju terus ke hadapan tanpa menoleh ke belakang lagi. Mungkin bersebab kenapa Allah campakkan aku ke sini buat seketika waktu. Untuk aku muhasabah diri. Untuk ambil pengajaran. Untuk tidak mengulangi kesilapan lalu. Dan aku terima setiap daripada itu sebagai satu learning process untuk mematangkan lagi diri aku. 

Sampai je depan lift Bumita tadi, hidung aku terus menangkap aroma bau ayam Che Mat. Tidak semena-mena terbit senyuman. Dalam hati aku rasa puas sangat. Tahniah Nadia, you made it! Alhamdulillah syukur. :')

Salam Maal Hijrah.

Something to ponder.

Hmm.. Malu rasanya dengan diri sendiri. Baru siang tadi mengeluh letih berkejaran naik bus dan kena naik tangga blok tinggi-tinggi. Mungkin sebab sebelum ni biasa pergi kelas naik kereta dan ada lif dekat hostel Bumita. Bila susah sikit, mengeluh saja yang tau. Bukak-bukak fb terus terbaca post ni, terus rasa insaf T.T 

My Guardian Angel

Kalau dulu waktu zaman sekolah, aku ada Kamila, Aqila, Wahida, and Haizura as my guardian angel. Walaupun jarang berjumpa kini, but still kitorang masih contact dan kalau boleh mesti jumpa waktu raya. 

And moment remaja paling fun bagi aku, of course lah waktu matrikulasi. Sebab ada Nono and Ama yang sentiasa ada di sisi aku tak kira susah mahupun senang. Diorang sentiasa tahu bila waktu aku tengah bersedih and apa nak buat untuk hilangkan kesedihan aku tu. Haaiihh, such a sweet memory dulu-dulu. Banyak jugak perkara 'gila' kitorang pernah buat dulu. Tergelak memikirkannya. 

Moment meningkat dewasa pula jatuh kepada zaman universiti. And my guardian angel for that moment are Lily, Arma, and Kak Diba. I don't know how I would survive my disastrous first year without them. Undeniably, mereka antara penyelamat tika aku hampir give-up. 

What I love about them all, Kamila, Aqila, Wahida, Haizura, Nono, Ama, Lily, Arma, and Kak Diba is that, I've always felt like HOME when I'm with them. Sebab diorang sentiasa layan aku macam baby. Macam Mama layan aku, macam family aku layan aku. And that is why I called them My Guardian Angel. 

Allah itu sangat baik. Dia sentiasa hantarkan orang yang baik-baik buat peneman aku yang keseorangan di sini. Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang mana hendak kamu dustakan? Senyum :)

I guess that's the thing about true friendship. It'll never ends. 

:)

That awkward moment...

Aku sorang je ke yang akan rasa (awkward + segan + still.rasa.macam.budak.lagi + kalau.boleh.nak.end.of.discussion.cepat2) setiap kali Mama/Abah bukak topik pasal kahwin?

Genggam bara api biar sampai jadi arang!

Found this on tumblr...

Question:

Salam'alaiykum. I am an engineering student and i need help. I find myself lack of motivation on engineering subjects and somehow now i found myself really attracted to Qur'anic studies which i discovered through youtube lectures. They are very profound. I feel it brings me closer to fathom and love Allah more as i should be. Should i carry both on my shoulders or drop the worldly means? Chances are odd as for my parents. Would they be happy?

Answer : 

Wa’alaikomissalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

May Allah Azza Wa Jall make it easy for you. Amin.

What I am about to tell you is based on my own experience, the last decision will always stay and depend on you, remember that no matter how many people would tell or advise you about this and that, it all goes back to its roots, which is yourself. 

However, I request that you think about this with the help of Allah Azza Wa Jall, make du’a and even make istikhara about this, nothing happens in the life of a believer except that it is for the good of him - keep this in mind. in sha Allah.

_____

When I was in the mid semester of my sophomore years in college, I felt the same thing you are feeling now. Alhamdulillah for the ways Allah Azza Wa Jall calls us to Him. 

I had 2 more years left before I finish my studies, which for me seemed to be such a long way to go, but as I learned and I studied along with the Qur’an I realized that being kind and doing things that would make your parents happy is also an act of worship to Allah Azza Wa Jall.

I’ve been in your shoes 6 years ago, I was a mass communication student, so my field of study is about how to communicate to people and I mean diverse people. True, that for some days I started to feel as if I didn’t want to pursue my secular studies and was eager to change or reroute myself into Islamic studies, so I started making du’a, and all those things we basically would hear from people we seek advice from.

But what made me take my decision was that, whenever I made du’a, I did not made a du’a that says like Ya Allah, please let my parents agree that I go into Islamic studies and I leave what I am studying right now.” Rather I made a du’a that is what I would call, a generous du’a. 

I made du’a that Allah guides me on what to choose that would not hurt my parents nor would make me go away from my desire of studying the deen and my worship to Him, that if this degree I am trying to gain would help me serve the Ummah or bring me closer to Him and His Deen, then please fill my heart with the desire to finish it with flying colors and make it beneficial for me and the rest of the Ummah, and if this degree that I am trying to gain would stray me away from my worship from you and would empty my heart from the desire I have for studying the deen then please enlighten the hearts of my parents and guide them to understand that what I want to do is for our benefit in the akhirah.

And just put all your trust in Allah Azza Wa Jall, and be patient, be very patient. 

And I am telling you, Allah will put you in situations wherein you would realize which one would be better for you. 

As for me, as I struggled to finish my degree, I realized that being the only Muslim lady in my batch, Allah made me realize that standing firm on my decision to fulfill and finish my degree for my parents’ happiness brought such an impact on my batchmates that some of them have reverted to Islam, and some of them had a change of perspective on our religion and how some of my professors view Muslim ladies (now) as brilliant students who know well their roots, their religion and in amidst the calamity of discrimination they would excel. Yes, that somehow through that four years, a voice emerged that spoke to their souls. Alhamdulillah.

I would personally tell you, to continue your studies and finish as an engineer, and when you are engineer, create or build something that would benefit the Ummah, that would help the Muslims, now that you are there, even build an engineering firm or sth and bring Muslims work and livelihood, be there, go first, and the rest would follow. May Allah give you success both here and in the akhirah. Amin.

Also, as you build this, do not forget the desire you have to study the deen, as you go on with these years of finishing your studies, give a full day on studying the deen, or even 10 minutes after you wake up for Fajr of before you sleep after I’sha, give that full 10 minutes on dhikr, reading the Qur’an, let Allah Azza Wa Jall be your companion through this struggle. He had always been with You, just you now, its different because, you finally recognize that He’s with You.

And once you finish your studies and you are now an engineer, go and hunt an Islamic teacher to help you study the deen. (Basically, that’s how I did it. I found my own shaykha to teach me, and help me in both my hifdh and arabic studies. May Allah Azza Wa Jall bless our teachers in Islam.)

I pray for your success my dear brother or sister in deen. Amin

May Allah Azza Wa Jall make us meet someday, if not in the dunya then I pray in Jannah! Amin

I hope my experience was worth telling and would help you on making the right decision. 

InsyaAllah. Impian di hati ini ingin melanjutkan pengajian hingga ke peringkat tertinggi, Master/PhD, InsyaAllah. Kemudian ingin menimba ilmu ukhrawi juga. Meski berseorangan, meskipun lambat, meskipun ketinggalan di belakang, aku akan tetap berjalan kehadapan tanpa menoleh ke belakang lagi. Dengan berbekalkan kekuatan dari sandaran dan pergantunganku pada Yang Maha Berkuasa, serta semangat dan dorongan yang tidak pernah putus dari keluarga tersayang & sahabat handai. InsyaAllah, hingga ke penghujungnya. Menuntut ilmu sehingga kedua mata ini terpejam buat selamanya. 

I miss you Mama...so much!

Bak kata Mama, next year bertambah lagi seorang daughter Mama. 

;)