Perasaan apakah ini?

Dah lama tak tengok tv, jadi tadi lepas makan malam terus naik atas tengok tv sambil lipat kain. Adik bongsu tengah tengok Raikan Cinta di Astro Ria, pengantin dia Dr Ezani Masterchef dan suami. Comel je Dr Ezani ni, dah lah seorang dentist, comel, pandai masak pulak tu. Alahai pakej menantu sangat. Mula-mula cerita macam biasa, dia tunjuk preparation untuk nikah dan resepsi. Cerita macam mana Dr Ezani bagitau parents yang dia nak kahwin dengan pilihan hati. Teringat post Dr Ezani yang ini. 

Aturan Allah terlalu cantik kan? :) Lepas tu scene akad nikah. Bila masuk scene ni tetiba je hati ni rasa semacam. Hmm. Lipatan kain juga jadi tergendala seketika. Hmm. Lantas, keputusan yang diambil adalah TOKSAH LAYAN! Mainan syaitonnirojim semua ni. Lepas scene akad nikah, scene resepsi pula. Alahai, cun melecun betul pelamin dia, simple but soooo cantiks! Dalam hati, bestnya jadi raja sehari ni... Hmmm. Eh jap jap, apa semua ini Nadia? 

*geleng-geleng kepala dan kembali melipat kain*

Lepas tu cerita Raikan Cinta pun habis. Yeayh, tepuk tangan! Tammat sudah penyeksaan hati dan jiwa remaja guwe. Iklan 5-6 minit, tuptup lepas tu boleh pulak keluar cerita Romantika dengan couple Sam Bunkface dan isteri beliau. Untuk 10 minit pertama aku masih mampu bertahan. Bila masuk part diorang bercerita tentang bibit-bibit pertemuan dan lovey dovey terus aku, "Thats it! Nak turun bawah makan spageti lagi sekali!"  

One fine day, jika diizinkan Tuhan. Kalau tidak di sini, di 'sana' nanti, InsyaAllah. :)

Haha. Entahlah. Bila difikir-fikirkan balik, aku ni semacam menolak fitrah pula. Sebab cuba sedaya upaya menidakkan perasaan yang kebiasaannya ada pada kaum perempuan seusia aku. Aku ingat lagi kalau dekat hostel dulu, bila diorang dah start buka cerita pasal kahwin, relationship and so on, aku awal-awal dah langkah kaki dulu. Alangkah bila jumpa kawan-kawan lama pun (of course lah topik ni jadi feveret kan) aku hanya mampu berikan senyum kambing pada mereka. Kahwin, bukan perkara kecil bagi aku. It's all about commitment. Alangkah commitment aku dengan Tuhan sebagai hamba-Nya pun masih belum sempurna, apatah lagi commitment aku kepada seorang manusia dan bakal-bakal manusia yang akan muncul di kemudian hari nanti. Eh, semacam pelik pula ayat itu. Yang penting, commitment aku sebagai seorang anak masih tak lepas lagi. 

Selagi aku masih ada upaya untuk menidakkan perasaan ini, dan selagi masih belum tiba masanya, selagi itu aku akan cuba bertahan. :) 

Made my day :)

Semoga Allah sentiasa murahkan rezeki bro ni, buat amal jariah di Tanah Suci Makkah. Siap cakap nogori tu yang tak tahan tu. Alahai, rindunya dengan suasana bumi Haramain yang super indah itu. Rindu nak dengar peniaga-peniaga Arab cakap Bahasa Melayu untuk tarik pelanggan dari Malaysia & Indonesia. Siap tagline wajib, "Malaysia Bagus!". Jumpa cleaner kat airport pun bila dia tanya kita dari mana, dan kita jawab Malaysia, dengan serta-merta keluar tangan tunjuk ibu jari beliau sambil berkata, "Malaysia Bagus!" Alangkah ada jemaah dari Turkey dan Russia juga sangat-sangat hormat akan kita rakyat Malaysia yang sungguh berbudi pekerti dan sukakan culture di bumi Malaysia.

Semoga rakyat Malaysia yang sedang dan akan mengerjakan Haji & Umrah di Makkah akan sentiasa tunjuk contoh yang baik dan adab sopan sertan santun ketika beribadah. Happy Merdeka Malaysiaku <3 

Suasana di Kota Mekah Kiriman Seorang Sahabat...Ekau kek sano cakap nogori dengan pak arab dia faham ker?hahaha..apapun tahniah..bersedekah amalan mulia..Kiriman: Hadi Hilman
Posted by Siakap Keli on Thursday, August 27, 2015

I know my wants. But Allah knows my needs.

Menghilangkan diri itu sudah menjadi salah satu hobi aku saat aku mula rasakan jiwa ini sesak dengan perasaan sendiri. Saat jauh dari dunia luar, aku mula kenal dengan salah satu sifat yang ada dalam diriku, yakni apabila aku mula hanyut dengan perasaanku sendiri, memikirkan masa-masa hadapan, dan kesilapan-kesilapan di masa lalu, mempersoalkan itu dan ini, sedikit demi sedikit aku dapati diriku ini mula menjadi insan yang kurang bersyukur. Ini merbahaya. Terlalu bahaya. 

Satu demi satu kuhitung akan segala nikmat yang telah dikurniakan padaku sepanjang 24 tahun aku bernafas di atas bumi milik Allah ini. Banyak. Terlalu banyak. Mengapa manusia ini punya sikap yang tidak pernah puas? 

Sometimes sabr and silence is better than expressing how you really feel.

Sikap seorang hamba;

Jika dia mendapat takdir yang baik, 

dia akan bersyukur. 

Jika dia mendapat takdir yang tidak baik, 

dia akan bersabar.

“Bersabar bererti tiada keluh kesah, tiada kesedihan, tiada penyesalan, tiada kemarahan dan tiada kebanggaan.” 

― Ustaz Iqbal Zain

Maka bersyukur dan bersabarlah wahai seorang Nadia. Sesungguhnya dunia yang sementara ini tidak layak untuk kau tangisi. Apa-apa yang Allah simpan disisi-Nya itu adalah lebih baik dari apa yang engkau inginkan di dunia ini. 

Verily with every difficulty, there is relief. [94:6]

A dunya. We're on the bottom. There is only up from here. This place is designed to break your heart. If you're looking to be happy in the dunya, you're in the wrong place. And that's why the sahaba in times of ease, they were more frightened than in times of hardship. Because they said; "Ease is only followed by hardship." When things are easy, there are always followed by hard times. Whereas when things are hard, they are always followed by easy times. So they preferred to be waiting for the ease, than to be waiting for the hardship. Because; "Waiting patiently for a happy outcome is the best act of worship." it's a hadith [Hassan-Tirmidhi]. The best worship is waiting for the ease from Allah to come when you're in hardship. As long as the calamity is in this world, it's a blessing. Because the real calamity is the calamity in the next world.  

So if you have Allah, you have everything you desire. If you don't have Allah, nothing you desire will make you happy. Nothing. It will all in the end bring you misery, and that's the truth. 

Tekanan.

May the next few months be a period of magnificent transformation for me. 

InsyaAllah. Ameen. 

:)

It’s not about how hard the fall is. It’s about how beneficial the rise is.

Have you ever felt so down that there’s nothing that motivates you to get back up? That feeling when you look up and there’s no bright light, so you would prefer not to move at all. Have you ever felt like in these moments there is no one in this whole entire world that could relate to you. The feeling when you feel like you have nothing to live for so you choose to give up. Everything is so negative; you don’t even want to be you. You don’t want to live the life you have.

I want you to know something. What you feel is not only normal, but it’s extremely common. You aren’t alone, in fact there’s millions out there who are feeling just as alone as you are. Remember what Islam teaches us? If we have nothing; we always have Allah, and when we have Allah - we have everything. As long as you have Allah, nobody can take anything away from you. Everything you desire exists with Allah!

Masjid Nabawi

The most amazing man to walk this earth, the teacher of ALL teachers, the scholar of ALL scholars, the man of all MEN, the Habib of Allah, the NABI of Allah, the Rasool of Allah, the receiver of divine revelation, the man with the most certainty of Islam - even HE experienced a taste of sadness in his life just like you. He didn’t just go through a moment of grief, he didn’t even just pass through a phase of sorrow. Prophet Muhammad (saw) experienced depression to such a degree he actually considered ending his life.

This is a man who was faultless. He was amazing in his character and conduct, literally the “chosen one”. If our beloved Prophet could feel sadness being as perfect as he was, we should realize it’s only our human nature to feel both good and bad. I want you to take one lesson out of this; you should NOT feel ashamed for feeling the way you do. Shame is an emotion that is from the shaytaan.

You and I are people who have messed up plenty in life. Our scales are full of sin and a lot of the time when we look at Nabi (saw), we feel like we can never be as good as he was because we aren’t Prophets. We disobey Allah (swt) a lot in comparison to him so living up to his standard seems impossible. Let’s remember that Allah sent Muhammad (saw) down because he was the perfect role model and example that we would be able to follow. And we can see in this example that feeling emotions aren’t a sin. They aren’t a sin as long as they don’t get acted upon. If Muhammad (saw) didn’t rise up after his fall, there would be no Islam. His rise was extremely beneficial, not just for him but for the whole of human kind. Don’t underestimate the special abilities Allah put in every person to make them different from one another. With the help of Allah, your rise will be beneficial not just for yourself but for the people around you aswell, inshaa Allah.

Islam isn’t here to extinguish sadness. Allah put it there for a reason. What Islam does do though, is it navigates it in a healthy way. And the fact of life is your going to get tribulations because that is the nature of the dunya. Nothing ever happens to you that wasn’t specifically meant for you. Your problems were distinctively meant for you, and that difficulty hit its target. But don’t forget a musibah isn’t always necessarily a bad thing. It’s something Allah wanted to happen to you. Don’t forget that it is by Allah (swt)’s permission that you are going through whatever you are going through.

“That to your Lord is the final goal; that it is He who grants laughter and tears. And that it is He who grants death and life” (Quran 53:43-44)

Masjidilharam

So just be patient. Remember that there are hidden mercies in suffering. Remember that it is okay and you are going to be okay. You want to know why? Because even though it is by Allah’s will you might be hurt right now, Allah never burdens a soul more than it can bear. That is one of the marvelous promises of Allah (swt)

“Verily, with every hardship comes ease” (Quran 94:6)

Allah doesn’t leave any of his slaves. At times like this you just need to open your eyes and see that Allah is actually standing right in front of YOU reaching his hand out to YOU waiting for YOU to take it. Allah understands when you fall, but it’s not about how hard the fall is. It’s about how beneficial the rise is.

"Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah kamu dustakan?"

There will be  times when you feel like you have failed, like everything is just a waste. You and I, we need to know that nothing will ever waste. Every experience makes, shapes, grows us who we are right now, it's all from Him. The choice is ours to make it a lesson, and draw us closer to Him or we can just let it passed.

Of course, there are things that we regret in our life, something that we hope we'd never done, there are someones that we wished we hadn't met them at the first place, there are places that we hope we never know it's existence and there are favor or wish that we should've reject.

But, these all what makes me who I am today. Someone who will always try her best to cherish people around her, because she knew how it feels to be ignored. Someone that will try her best to appreciate things in her life because, she know how it feels to have, and to own nothing but herself and God. She experienced being hated by teachers, relatives, friends. So now she won't mind being alone-sometimes it's better that way.

What i need to say to myself at times like this is, 'Takpe Nadia, bertahan sikit lagi.. You're almost there.'

"Kita sering meminta rezeki. Namun rezeki yang kita fahami hanyalah harta sahaja. Padahal rezeki yang paling hakiki ialah amal soleh yang membuat kita semakin dekat kepada Allah dan mendapatkan kebahagiaan dunia dan akhirat."

Kadang-kadang aku rasa diri aku teruk sangat. Sebab tak nampak nikmat-nikmat lain yang telah Allah kurniakan pada aku. 

24 tahun & 2 bulan setengah

si pendek

Aku punya prinsip, iaitu, selagi mana Mama masih perlu berleter atas kelakuan aku yang tidak kena dia matanya, selagi itulah aku masih belum cukup layak untuk bergelar seorang isteri apatah lagi seorang ibu. Mungkin orang akan kata, "Oh kemon, nak capai tahap PERFECTION memang sampai ke tua lah kau takkan kahwin." Tapi aku punya cita-cita, untuk kelihatan hampir sempurna di kedua mata insan yang berhempas pulas melahirkan dan membesarkan aku. Sebelum tanggungjawab mereka dilepaskan ke bahu seseorang yang ditugaskan untuk membimbing aku. Salah ke? 


Rasa lucu pula, mengenangkan Abah yang mengeluh kerana semakin lama rumah semakin terasa kosong apabila anak-anak sudah mula bina hidup dan keluarga sendiri, tetapi dah mula bagi hint supaya aku mula bersedia kerana selepas turn Ami turn aku pula. Dan setiap kali hal sebegini diutarakan, aku dengan tangkas men-suggest-kan adik yang nampaknya sudah bersedia serba-serbi, dari segi kestabilan ekonomi mahupun kestabilan hubungan itu sendiri. Apa salahnya kalau langkah bendul dulu kan? 


Aku? Entahlah. Banyak lagi cita-cita yang belum tercapai. Biarlah masa saja yang menentukan segalanya. Yang penting segalanya aku serahkan pada Dia yang Maha Mengetahui & Sebaik-baik Pengatur.